“Modern Identities” is a publication about how we identify our authentic self: as an individual, in relation to a loved one, and as a member of society. We’ll share heteronormative and non-heteronormative nonfiction, personal stories. We’ll cover the full spectrum of gender, including men and women, both cis and trans, as well as non-binary and a-gender expressions.
We’ll address changing societal gender norms, sexuality and sexual orientation, and whom and how we love. …
It can become humbling for a man to experience an illness which causes him to have to accept help from his family and friends. Because men are taught to be breadwinners and superheroes who save the family and the day, in an ongoing state of providing, even when they are deathly ill. You have had a brave face. It becomes a large face of ego and not a futile ground for humility.
Being humble means to lower your ego and be like the ocean. The ocean is the most powerful body of water in the world…
So basically I recently “broke up” with this girl. The reason I’m phrasing it like that is because we only dated for like a month. During the time I was dating her, I realized she had an abusive ex who gaslit her, was emotionally negligent and also implicitly fat shamed her by joking that she needs to lose weight. I was very empathetic to her situation and realized she was still healing from this abuser.
However, as I spent more time with her, I realized that she brought up her ex every time I was…
I was pretty amazed by the popularity of the first lists of Christian clichés I created (linked at the bottom of this article). I think it was because so many Christians saw themselves somewhere in the list and others (maybe even some Christians!) have been on the receiving end of these clichés and resonated with my frustration in hearing them pretty much my entire life.
Since that initial series ran, I’ve been thinking about other things Christians often say that tend to do more harm than good. …
By Matthew Fray
Because I’m an only child, my friends have been hugely important to me forever, and I think it was an unidentified factor in my divorce.
From grade school through high school and college, I was immersed in social activity. When I was little, I was playing at friends’ houses. When I was in high school, I was involved in team sports, or part-time jobs or doing things typical of a teenage boy in the mid- to late-‘90s. My college years were unquestionably my favorite from a How I Felt on the Inside standpoint.
I lived with my…
About a year ago, I met the coolest guy I’ve ever known. We’re both grad students at the same university and we were in some classes together, and we just really hit it off. We share a lot of interests and have a blast when we hang out, often spending entire days together up until the wee hours of the morning. We play video games together, have movie nights, go out hiking, have study dates… you name it. His smile lights up my whole damn day and being friends with him has gotten me through…
By Tod Evans
“All you can do is create a space for transformation to happen, for grace and love to enter.”
Grace is often spoken of in the same sanctified breath as God, exalting it as something supremely special. Traditionally, we thank God, believed to be the Creator of the universe, for the gift of grace. It’s customarily considered as something He bestows upon us if He decides we’re worthy. …
By Sylvia Smith
When most people marry they expect to stay with the one they love for the rest of their lives. Unfortunately this is not always the case; as many as thirty eight percent of first marriages fail. The failure of a marriage is a difficult time emotionally and sometimes financially. It can take a long time and serious effort before you feel ready to look for love again. These 6 rules will help you know when you’re ready to love again.
#1 — Take all the time you need to heal.
It doesn’t matter if the divorce was…
By Sean Swaby
So you are a driven man?
Well, honestly I’m surprised that you took time to read this. Most of us, the driven type, don’t have time to read articles that bring attention to who we are or what we do.
There I said it… or did I? It’s easier for me to talk about what I do, rather than for me to talk about who I am. I can be driven and it drives me nuts. My mind is like a talk radio station that’s always on in the background.
I can count on my Critic. He…
By Matthew Fray
“Could you explain a little more about what you mean by core values?” Lisa asked.
I think most people, including me, lack the ability to summarize their core values, and then shitty things happen afterward, and then we all struggle with trying to figure out why.
But THIS IS WHY the shitty thing happened. Because we don’t know what our values are.
Since we can’t go back in time, the only reasonable choice is to try to make tomorrow better than today.
Our inability to identify our values means we don’t REALLY know who we. And…