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Wine Is Fine, but Whiskey’s Quicker: A Father’s Lament

Pain and depression keep this husband and father from doing what society’s gender norms have told him he should do for his family.

5 min readJan 8, 2021
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Photo credit: Shutterstock

By Brian Crandall

I live with severe depression. It is a blessing, and it is a curse.

My worst enemy is my own thought process, always dragging me to hell, always telling me how worthless I am as a human being.

My biggest strength is my thought process. I experience extreme empathy for others who suffer. I live life in a great deal of physical pain, and I use this experience with pain to write about others who suffer, and I try to encourage compassion towards others who are sometimes unfairly judged negatively.

As a man, friends, family, and society, in general, have an expectation that I work and earn an income, especially considering I have a wife and three sons. Throughout my 20s, going to work every day was my strength; it was what I did best. I was reliable in that way.

Then came pain, stress, and depression. When the ability to work for a living was taken away at age 30, as my optimism for healing faded, the depression strengthened. Eventually, depression took over my entire thought process. My number one…

Agents of Change
Agents of Change

Written by Agents of Change

A collaborative effort between “agents of change,” Good Men Media, Inc. and Connection Victory Publishing Company. AgentsOfChange@ConnectionVictory.com